Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, April 24, 2021

LOVE: Welcome Back to Holy Matrimony:-)!


There has been so many things racing through my head since I have last put my fingers to the keyboard. First, I want to give the almighty GOD credit for getting my new hubby and I through the wedding planning process and completing our nuptials. There are so many unforeseen tasks to complete, and we still are not done…. lol. But the crazy thing is this: I would not change the wedding or the planning experience for the world ๐Ÿ˜Š! That means a lot coming from this very type A personality…lol. For the record, I am Type C once all my task is done. I’m working on it.

Going through the wedding planning process in less than a year, all the Covid-19 changes, and completing physical therapy was nothing short of a challenge. Did I mention premarital counseling and few other Covid-19 related variables? But I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Also, many life situations are tests. Tests are sometimes needed for you to see your strengths, and let you acknowledge other areas you need to work on (But that is for another blog๐Ÿ˜Š)!

For the purpose of this blog, I want to tell my perception of the wedding planning process and setting a date. Although men and women both complete the wedding planning process, I feel the perception and preparation is slightly unique for women. Not to take away from the male aspect, but I feel I can only write from my point of view on this topic. Also, for me being a bride was vastly different from the multiple maids of honor and bridesmaid experience I have completed.

In my blog, October 25th, 2020, I write about LOVE: Setting a Wedding Date and the Planning Process. Looking back, I realize I frequently refer to the 8 tips written with some variations. Although the previous blog was already written, now I feel it is important to show if the tips work and be transparent in what REALLY is beneficial for use. Here is the REALITY of the 8 tips that help me get through setting a wedding date and the wedding process. They are as follows:

Wedding Day!

  1.   Enjoying the Engagement- My spouse and I made the engagement as enjoyable as possible. Dealing with Covid-19 during this time made enjoyment challenging. Both of us work in an industry that required exceptionally long work hours, and this did not include the change in processes occurring in everyday life. To assist with enjoying the engagement, we continued to have date night during the pandemic.
  2. The Research- Although background research was completed on the wedding and the planning process, I feel the best advise came from other individuals who had been through the wedding planning process. For me, this provided more comfort as I completed task. Also, having resource individuals let me know the variations and feelings I was experiencing were normal.
  3. Enjoying the Planning Process- I am trying to stay incredibly positive, but I did not enjoy the planning process at all…lol. For someone that is very concrete, there were many moving parts. Extra parts due to Covid-19. At least that is what was expressed from my resource individuals. Let us just say, too many for my type A personality. But guess what? God put in place people who thrive and relish in this area. Our nuptials were a success. I could not have done this process alone and am forever grateful for everyone who assisted๐Ÿ˜Š!
  4. Allowing Yourself Enough Time to Plan- As mentioned above, the planning time was cut short by many factors. After personally going through this experience, whatever time you think you need double it! Also, your original timeline, attempt to stick with it. In doing this the tweaking at the end will be minimal. To accomplish this area, many reinforcements were called upon.
  5. Choosing Your Wedding Party- So it is no secret that Covid-19 affected everyone in choosing a wedding party. Many original wedding participants lived in other states. A month before the union a few of the northern states became open for travel. Honestly, it was during this time that the whole picture of the wedding really started coming together. Instead of changing the wedding party, more people we loved could be present for our union. Also, individuals were able to contribute in-person on some level who may not been able to attend previously. So, although this was a big variable in our wedding party, it was a positive one๐Ÿ˜Š!Variables in the Planning 
  6. Process- All I can say is flexibility, flexibility, flexibility! So, I want to stress throughout this blog the variables mentioned were a little more than normal. The variables mentioned are from my personal experience with setting a date and the wedding planning process. These variables are not meant to be a deterrent, but a reference point only. Covid-19 caused normal life process to be altered. The wedding process was no exception.
  7. Setting a Date- I feel every area under setting a date, which needed considering was not applicable due to Covid-19 requirements (time of day, location, season, and holiday requirement). Honestly, the way weddings are being completed during Covid-19, you must be realistic on what you are requesting and your expectations. Our wedding was performed a day after my birthday, a weekend before Easter, in the evening, most of our guest came from out of state, and during Georgia’s time of crazy season change. Although this was not the initial plan, this is the date and time which worked for my spouse and me.
  8. Setting a Budget- Oddly, the area of setting a budget worked out but was still affected. I, who normally DIY everything was in physical therapy and working up until 1 week before the wedding. And although most women have a dream wedding in mind, I am NOT one of those I knew what feeling I wanted to have, and I wanted to look beautiful. For me, that goal was achieved. So, the budget that was originally set was altered when reinforcements for certain task were outsourced. But it was doable. I just want to stress; I do not condone going into debt over a wedding. I will say this, get one idea and stick with it. Let it be your focal point and do not loose focus on what you are trying to achieve in the planning process. For me, my goal was achieved.

Every bride is unique but remember the ultimate end goal is for you to enjoy your wedding nuptials with your spouse and prepare for a long-lasting life together. Know you will be surrounded by family and friends who will love and cherish your union. Even if your wedding does not go smoothly, and usually it does not, you have now joined with the spouse of your dreams. As crazy as it sounds, I would not change my wedding planning experience and nuptials for the world. What I believe makes the difference is changing your expectations and realizing what is important. If you do this, you will enjoy the wedding experience even more! I know I did๐Ÿ˜Š!

*As always, thanks for reading! If you like this blog and want continuous updates, subscribe via e-mail on the right. Please share your wedding stories! I look forward to reading your wedding comments in the comment section below. Thanks in advance!*

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Love: Are You and Your Partner Compatible?

Are you and your partner compatible? There are many areas of compatibility in a relationship to consider when trying to find a mate. A valuable piece of information which may assist you, is knowing you and your partners love language. Love language! What is that? Love language has two areas: It allows you to learn how you like to receive affection and gives you ideas on how to provide affection for your spouse once you learn their love language. Love language is comprised of five styles, which we will discuss a little further in the blog. First lets learn a little about the original author.

The five areas that we are going to talk about were developed by author Gary Chapman Ph.D. Gary wrote a book called, "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts". The author wrote the original book in 1992. In the book, Gary discusses 5 specific ways people like to receive love, along with a communication component. No one has one true category, but rather a hybrid of several categories. Some categories are more dominant than others, which means these types are more your preference. But do not rule the other types out. Preference may very and change based on goals, life experiences, and circumstances. The five love languages that Gary discusses are described in brief in the chart below:

These 5 types of languages are not just important in dating, but in other areas of life. The five love languages became familiar to me in one of my leadership roles in a hospital facility in which I was employed. The book was used to facilitate effective communication between leaders. First, we each took a version on Chapman's test individually. Once we discovered our own language style, it was easier to communicate our needs to each other. Once we understood each others language style, we became a more effective leadership team. 

Isn't this the same goal in a relationship? To unite and become stronger as a team. If you are a little bit curious about what your love language results are, you may take the quiz at I am glad my fiance and I completed the quiz. It definitely was an eye opener, and will be a repeat use in our future๐Ÿ˜Š! If you find the book and quiz helpful here are other relationship books written by Author Gary Chapman. They are as follows:

  1. The Five Languages of Apology
  2. The Four Seasons of Marriage
  3. Things I Wished I'd Known Before We Got Married
  4. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

There is one point I do want to stress about these books. These books make you question different areas in your relationship, and obtain a different perception. In completing the provided self-test frequently, you may realize your relationship needs have changed. A change in love language is not a negative concept. It just means you are evolving and growing. As you grow and change, so does your needs. When change occur and it is not communicated to your partner, chaos can erupt. Communication is always the answer, but is easier said than 

In a relationship it is very easy to project the love language that suits you. In doing so, you believe you are showing your partner love. It is quite the opposite. Let us converse about an example. So, let us say your love language is gifts and your partners is physical touch. To show your affection you buy your partner frequent gifts but never show physical contact. In actuality you have fulfilled your own love language and not your partners. Although the thought was good, your partners love needs are unfulfilled. This is what I mean when I say it is easier to know what type of love language each partner needs, than it is to complete the action of making them feel their own love language. I am very guilty of this one. But, do not be so hard on yourself! No one is expecting you to be an expert in expressing the kind of love your partner needs over night. Being compatible and making sure each other needs are met takes work. Here are a few clues that you and your partner loves needs differ. They are as follows:

  1. It drives you crazy when your partner doesn't take your plans seriously and treats them as unimportant.
  2. Words of encouragement is not your partners strong suit, and it makes you feel undervalued.
  3. Your partner was upset you did not bring a souvenir from a vacation trip, and you were upset that your spouse expected some type of gift.
  4. Your spouse does not randomly bring flowers home, and you are not impressed by their lack of actions.

Let me just place a disclaimer. The actions stated above are not a depiction of my spouse. Also, having different love languages does not mean you are incompatible. Differences mean you have to work a little harder to understand one another and work on being in sync. There is nothing wrong with a little hard work๐Ÿ˜‰! Is your partner worth a little work? Mine certainly is, because I know he has to put in some work for

Although the book on love languages is very useful, I want to bring to light the variables that may effect the quiz results. A few include but are not limited to: Culture, religion, gender, up bringing, past relationship experiences, and sexuality. The love language concept is not a cure but a starting point for communication. It is not designed to bring complete happiness, but it is a nice starting point for couples. 

* There are several versions of this book (Topics cover couples, children, teens, and singles), but the information provided is not all-inclusive. Rather, the books provides information for the communication process and partner exploration. Please, always seek professional advise when needed. Are you and your partner compatible? Please subscribe via e-mail on the right, and leave a comment in the comment section below.  As always, thanks for reading and subscribing! *

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Love: Setting a Wedding Date and the Planning Process!

Yes, you are engaged! Let the celebration begin. This is one of the most important times of your life. You are in extreme bliss! But how do you go about setting a wedding date? Where do you start, and how do you plan for this very special occasion? It all can be a little overwhelming if you do not know where to start. Here are 8 tips to consider when setting a wedding date and planning for your special day. They are as follows:

  1. Enjoy Your Engagement- What's the rush? The engagement process is meant to be blissful. During the wedding planning process, some of the enjoyment you feel during the engagement takes a back seat. Not intentionally, but usually there are more task to complete than what is initially intended to make your special day successful. So enjoy the engagement process. Your spouse will thank you later.
  2. Do Your Research- It is important to complete research on setting a wedding date and the wedding planning process. In doing this, you will be able to identify areas that need more time, and provide you and your spouse with a general outline in what works for you. But you have to be willing to put in the work. Research can be completed by: getting information from others who have completed the wedding process, internet, wedding planning sites, and/or books. Internet sites like, "Zola" and "The Knot" allow you to complete all of your planning and processes in one location. You will surely find a resource which will assist you.
  3. Enjoy the Planning Process- So, I am speaking from experience, sometimes you can bite off more than you can Trying to set a wedding date and planning can be a strenuous process. Everyone is experiencing different phases in life. What you may have been able to complete last year, may not be realistic for you this year. Speak up and ask for assistance. If it is in your budget, allow people who have experience and expertise in certain areas to help. The planning process is not as seamless as you may think. You want the process to be as enjoyable as possible. 
  4. Allow Yourself Enough Time to Plan- Time is of the essence, and many people get in over their head when enough time is not given to set a date and plan a wedding appropriately. There are many factors to consider when planning. A few are: location, distance from the venue for guest and wedding party, number of people in your wedding party, and number of guest attending your wedding. Unfortunately, Covid-19 has given us a little assistance in this area. Wedding party numbers have been small and intimate due to this pandemic.
  5. Choosing Your Wedding Party- Here are a few things to consider when choosing your wedding party. Your wedding party size and home location of the people in your wedding is a huge factor for your special occasion. Travel, accessibility, and wedding party participants budgets need to be considered. This can indirectly push back the wedding date and/or increase the wedding cost. It depends on how desperately you want certain persons in attendance and your cash flow. It is important to be financially honest in this area to stay on budget. Also remember, Covid-19 has impacted people who normally would be OK to assist in your nuptials. Keep realistic expectations for your union. There are many non-financial ways people can contribute to your wedding. 
  6. Variables in the Planning Process- So this information is for my type A personality Nothing is concrete in picking a wedding date and completing the wedding planning process. So rest assure, some flexibility is needed. Check off list are great as a guide, but many things can effect and change your completion list. Some examples include: weather, change in final guest list count, sickness, and etc. Please know these variations are not all inclusive, but are examples of some moving parts that may occur. So relax, and know this is a form of normalcy.
  7. Settling On a Date- When setting a wedding date consider the season, time of day, location, travel and holiday requirements. What is the season you and your spouse would like to marry? When picking a location consider traffic and accessibility. How are flights around the time of year you want to tie the knot? Is it during a holiday season when many people will be shelling out a lot of cash and travel expenses are high? Ultimately, the date chosen for your special day is up to you and your spouse? Although these are questions to keep in mind, remember whatever date you set for your special occasion should ultimately work for your union.
  8. Set a Budget- This can be a fickle area. We know every girl has a dream wedding in mind. But think, is your dream wedding worth starting your marriage in debt. That is not a blissful beginning. Know your max budget, and stick with it. Also, know there are many areas you can cut back on in cost and still have a swanky wedding. Why not save coins? This is where research and a little DIY may come in handy. 
Remember, the end goal is for you to enjoy your wedding nuptials with your spouse and prepare for a long lasting life together. Know you will be surrounded by family and friends who will love and cherish your union. Even if the wedding day doesn't go smoothly, you have now joined union with the spouse of your dreams.You and your mate will enjoy the wedding planning experience and your union even more. Good luck! You got this๐Ÿ˜‰!

* These 8 tips on setting a wedding date and starting the planning process is not all-inclusive. Rather it is information to get you thinking through the process. What guidelines did you use to plan for your big day, and how did it work for you? Please subscribe via e-mail on the right, and leave a comment in the comment section below.  As always, thanks for reading and subscribing! *

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Love: Fun Date Night Rules!

How do you plan your date night?  Although everyone is spending a lot of quality time together, date night is still important. Date night allows for a connection which can be lost in day-to-day activities. Why not make date night exciting with some rules. Shake things up a little, with some out of the box thinking. Weather you are in relationship, and/or just spending family time together, here are a few fun rules to use. 4 date night rules to try are:

  1. Explore-Try new things that neither one of you have done. This will allow each participant to see how each respond outside of their comfort zone. Unity will indirectly be promoted by requiring all participants to work together to accomplish a common goal.
  2. Alternate the leader- Each gathering or date night, alternate the leader. Alternation allows each participant control at a given time, and allows other participants to see the other responses in a different role. Also, Indirectly pressure is not placed on one person to always lead. 
  3. Learn something unique- Learn something new about each other. This is indirectly done with alternating the leader. Also, this can be achieved by asking questions about the date night. What did you like the best? What was your least favorite part?  Would you like to repeat the activity and/or try something different? Remember, the goal is to have fun and learn something new about each other.
  4. Have fun and enjoy quality time- This is the ultimate rule. Date night is suppose to be pleasurable and fun! Sometimes doing things outside of your comfort zone can be unnerving. But nothing matches spending quality time with someone you love ๐Ÿ˜‰!

* These rules are simple but fun, and may lead to exciting date nights! The rules are not set in stone and may be changed to suit your quality time experience. Try a set of rules for several months and then change them up. Most of all have FUN and enjoy the time spent together! As always, thank you for reading. Please leave a comment in the comment box below, and subscribe via e-mail in the right column.*

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Love: How does your love relationship look?

Everyone is looking for love, and it comes in many forms. Whether its through friendship, family, and/or a committed relationship, everyone is in need of belonging. It is human nature to want to be loved, and have an emotional connection to another human being. Many people say love is hard to describe. Also, love is hard work! Whatever your definition of love is, you have to be willing to work to keep your definition alive. Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself to find out what type of love is right for you.

  1. What is your definition of love?- You can ask 5 different people what love is? Everyone's definition of love will be different. So how can someone tell you what type of love works for you? As you grow, your love needs may change, and that is OK. What is your definition of love is a key question? You cannot expect someone to know what your love definition is, if you do not know it yourself. 
  2. What do you need to get out of your love relationship?- Weather your love needs are a friendship, family, and/or a committed relationship, an evaluation is needed to know your own expectations. Once you know your own expectations, it will be easier to communicate your expectations to others.
  3. What is your deal breaker?- Many people have actions they will not tolerate in a relationship.  These actions are know as, "deal breakers". Usually a "deal breaker" is based on past experiences. Many love relationships split because these "deal breakers" are committed, and no communication about what they are were made. 
  4. How do you communicate your love needs?- As crazy as this sounds, a huge elaborate production is not needed. What works for one person, may not work for another. Verbally stating your needs is not a crime. If stating your needs is a problem, then maybe the love relationship is not the correct fit. Also, as you grow as an individual, your love needs may change. Continue to communicate your needs as you grow.
  5. What effort are you willing to put into your definition of love?- Everyone has a different amount of energy they are willing to put into a relationship. But before you bail on any type of love relationship ask yourself: Have you defined your definition of love? Have you answered what do you need to get out of your type of love relationship? Have you defined your deal breakers? Have you communicated your love needs? Only then will you know if the love relationship is worth keeping. Remember, this is a decision only you can make!

* How does your love relationship look? Please share in the comment box below, and subscribe via e-mail in the right column. Thanks in advance for reading and sharing.*

Thursday, June 25, 2020


What? An engagement during the pandemic? We all know living in a house with others can be challenging! Add a relationship, working in healthcare, and Covid-19 restrictions: You may be headed for disaster. Here are 5 relationship survival tips my fiancรฉ and I use during the pandemic. They are as follows:

Surprise 2020 Pandemic engagement dinner!
  1. Allow each other personal space when needed- During this pandemic we are forced to see each other on a continuous basis. Providing each other with personal space will make the time spent together valuable.
  2. Validate each others feelings- Emotions are at an all time high. Although you cohabitate space, each persons experience through the pandemic is uniquely their own. Validating each others feeling can make cohabitation easier.
  3. Schedule couples time- Continuously seeing each other can take away from couples time. It may devalue quality time spent together. Continue to schedule couples time during the pandemic (ex: A movie, a new recipe, a game, and/or DIYing together:-)). Blocking off time for each other will surely keep the flames going!
  4. Develop an new normal- Living with Covid-19 is going to be the "new normal". Developing a new daily routine can decrease anxiety and stress in you and your spouse. It will take trial and error to see what works for the both of you.  Be patient and give yourselves grace during this time. You will be happy you did.
  5. Laugh- Whoever said laughter is the best medicine was correct! There are many life changing situations going on during this time. Using memes, funny text and discussions with family/friends can give your mood the positive boost it needs!
Covid-19 engagement!

*What are some of your Covid-19 couple survival tips? Please subscribe via e-mail, and place your comments below.* Thanks in advance!